Feel What You Want, Control What You Do

I found this short article (http://www.pbs.org/wholechild/providers/dealing.html) and thought I'd share part of it:

One of the most valuable skills we can teach children is how to express strong emotions without hurting themselves, others or damaging property. What we want our children to learn is: feel what you want, but control what you do. Begin by communicating with the child in a non-judgmental way, showing her you understand how she feels. Perhaps she's angry or sad because someone won't let her play or perhaps she wants something so badly, she can't wait another minute for it. Whatever the cause, the first thing to do is to put those feelings into words for her. Encourage the child to say the feelings out loud and tell the other person how she feels. If the child's too young or inexperienced to know what to say, model a simple sentence for her to copy. Finally, do whatever else is necessary to resolve the situation.
        Of course, adults lose their temper and must learn to control their anger. The important thing to remember is that the same rule applies: feel what you want, but control what you do. You can't fool children by denying you are upset or angry or frightened. It's better to simply admit it as calmly as possible.

Book Recomendations: Three Helpful Stories About Managing Big Emotions

The Way I Feel Pack:
The Caldecott Honor-winning When Sophie Gets Angry shows that everyone gets out of control sometimes, and a little solitude can help. Sophie is upset because her little sister grabbed her toy and made her fall over. She's ready to roar, but instead makes the choice to go outside. Climbing a favorite tree and listening to the birds, she is able to calm down. And when she finally comes home, she isn't angry anymore.

The Way I Feel is a perennial bestseller that helps children identify their stressful feelings—and think about constructive ways of managing them. Playful rhymes and evocative illustrations describe jealousy, disappointment, anger, and more, and remind kids that it's not okay to hit, yell, or hurt other people. Also included is a note to parents on how to talk about feelings with children.

Strong emotions can be overwhelming to young children—and they can be difficult to talk about. But discussing the situation of a character in a story is not threatening and can be an excellent way to introduce these issues. Keep these books on hand for times when children need to talk about how to cool down!

Available online through scholastic book clubs for only $10.00(for all 3 books!)